15 Comments
User's avatar
Sarah Thankam Mathews's avatar

I loved this. Tracy Chapman + guesser culture + a somewhat retiring and private disposition are all individually dear to my heart, so this essay that combines them so artfully is a joy

Expand full comment
Madeleine Holden's avatar

thank you! glad you enjoyed

Expand full comment
Rosie Whinray's avatar

Ah yes, ye olde direct v. indirect split. I love direct communication, yet I hate self-promotion: like you I find it cringe to the point of unbearability. That suggests to me that while these metrics (direct - indirect / self-promotional - self-effacing) overlap, they are not exactly the same. Maybe it has something to do with pride: that is, self-promotion feels humiliating in a way that interpersonal honesty doesn't. It seems like 'the work' & 'the meta-work' (i.e. promotion etc.) are two very different forms of work, maybe even opposite forms.

Expand full comment
Madeleine Holden's avatar

yes you're right and it occurred to me while i was writing this that i was maybe unfairly conflating the two; i think the venn diagram is probably pretty circle-like, but not a circle

Expand full comment
Wendy Varley's avatar

Finding this belatedly because my Licken daughter just shared your latest (also excellent) piece on Lickens and Pigs.

I am a Guesser, trying to get better at asking, but it really does make me cringe.

Expand full comment
clémentine duxin's avatar

Thanks so much for this text, it really helps me see things more clearly! It makes me think about how social media has evolved, especially how Instagram isn’t relevant anymore if you’re not doing any sort of influence and how people who « consume » content seem less and less engaged with creators, like it’s a service they’re entitled to. Knowing all this sometimes even makes me lose the spark, like I believe that to explore what we have to share at our deepest we need to know there’s a space out there that can receive it.

The optimistic side of me still believes that these forms of creation will find new pathways… but for now I’m feeling a bit disheartened.

Expand full comment
Raleigh's avatar

Thanks for writing this. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way, but it's nice to see it articulated so well.

Personally, it takes every ounce of my willpower to post about myself and work online lol. In the most comfortable version of my world, I'd just do the work and move on. I don't love "showing up" in digital spaces—it feels unnatural to me—even as someone who helps brands do the same.

Moving past some of my blocks around this has been overall beneficial. But I wish it could be a choice and not an obligation.

Expand full comment
Madeleine Holden's avatar

same. interesting that you’re in marketing, i assumed it’d be wall-to-wall Askers—although i suppose self-promo is a whole different animal to helping promote someone/something else

Expand full comment
Portia's avatar

This is really well written. Many of us no longer have the privilege to "just do the thing" and go home. Artists are the canary in the coal mine and were the first professionals who realized that they must be in the business of production and promotion to succeed.

Now journalists, engineers, and other white-collar creatures are realizing that just doing an amazing job is only the beginning of profiting from our work.

This is neither bad or good. Just different.

Expand full comment
Madeleine Holden's avatar

i think it's bad lol

Expand full comment
Emma Gleason's avatar

As a Guesser from a low-context background, married to an Asker, and recently plunging onto this “content creator” business, this was a good (excellent!) read.

Expand full comment
Madeleine Holden's avatar

thank you and good luck out there

Expand full comment
Tess Nichol's avatar

omg cute that you and Vinnie are an asker/guesser pair (tru love always wins!)

Expand full comment
Karen Sargent's avatar

Lifelong Guesser here. I once started taking supplements produced by a MLM company and loved them. They were so awesome I wanted everyone to know and also to push me up the ranks so I could make millions and pay off the (literal) farm. My "uplines" told me exactly what to say, how to say it, how to dress, where to go, and when to post, and also "be authentic!" They were the most cringey years of my life thus far. I still take the supplements. The farm is still deep in mortgage, but I am finally back to being authentic. I feel like I dodged a bullet.

Expand full comment
Madeleine Holden's avatar

wow, what an experience. sounds like you did dodge a bullet

Expand full comment